by Kamal Naran
My journey with my queer identity has been challenging, and like many others, it has been marked by shame, guilt, and avoidance. Much of this was a learned helplessness response (that was internalised as self-imposed) to living in a cis-heteronormative society that constantly labelled my queerness as abnormal and shameful, leading me to question, disregard, doubt, reject, and even demonize my most authentic self.
Art therapy became a transformative tool for me, allowing me to strip away these imposed layers and renegotiate my relationship with my ‘True Self’ (Winnicott, 1965). Through the medium of art, I discovered the colours, paintbrushes, and canvas to explore and rebuild the layers of my queer identity. Like the process of impasto, I was able to layer and re-layer the complexities and depth of my experience as a queer individual. The layers, sometimes thick with emotion and delicate with vulnerability, were built on, scraped away, removed and reapplied. I washed and rewashed, stippled, poured and splattered; continually revealing and reconnecting with the colours, textures, shapes and forms of my authentic self.
This therapeutic journey not only helped me reclaim my authenticity but also inspired my Master’s research. The title of my Master’s dissertation is ‘The use of group art therapy as an effective method to explore the complexities of queer identity’. The aim of my research was to examine the ways in which art therapy can be used to foster increased self-acceptance amongst queer individuals through exploring the theme of difference in queer identity (Naran, 2022).
Process and key findings
My research study involved facilitating an art therapy group for queer-identifying individuals. I conducted eight weekly sessions, each lasting an hour and a half. Each session followed a structured format: beginning with a check-in to gauge participants’ current states, followed by a discussion of a specific theme related to queer identity. Participants then created an artwork inspired by the discussion, which was followed by a group discussion about the artwork and concluded with a check-out to reflect on the session.
I employed a combination of action research and the most significant change methodologies to ensure the process was both reflective and adaptable. To analyse my data, I utilised a psychoanalytical theoretical framework, focusing specifically on Winnicott’s concepts of the ‘True Self’ and ‘False Self,’ the ‘Me/Not Me’, and the transitional space. This framework provided a lens through which to understand the participants’ experiences and the potential of art therapy in exploring and affirming queer identity. The key findings that were most relevant to my research study were:
1. Body image: the appearance of the body and parts of the body that appear in the artworks.
2. Bearing witness: how the participants were able to see one another and witness each other’s authentic selves and how the artworks were utilised as a way of witnessing.
3. ‘True Self’ and ‘False Self’: engaging with these theoretical concepts as a form of masking or as having a protective function towards the authentic ‘self’.
Another key finding that emerged that I did not initially anticipate was the crucial role of defence mechanisms, particularly in the ‘False Self’. For queer individuals, maintaining an authentic identity can be incredibly challenging because the ‘False Self’ often serves a protective function rooted in survival and the need to shield oneself from both physical and emotional harm. Furthermore, the ‘False Self’ helps in masking the ‘True Self’, creating a false sense of belonging to the ‘Not Me’ (cis-heternormative society). This façade can provide temporary relief from negative and hurtful attitudes of the ‘Not Me’ towards the ‘Me’. As Winnicott (1965) suggests, “…the False Self is built on identifications”. However, in doing so, queer people move away from having their stories and experiences borne witness.
There is a delicate balance between protecting one’s authentic self and allowing for one’s authentic self to be witnessed, however foundational the latter is to true identity development. This ambivalence was evident in the research participants’ artworks who often created generic body shapes or bodies without faces (Figures 1, 2, & 3) as expressions of their relationship, understanding and feelings towards queer identity. In my own response art (Figure 4), I also grappled with this ambivalence, concealing and revealing parts of my face, sitting in the countertransference of the fear and vulnerability of being seen. Beneath this fear lies a sense of shame associated with identifying as queer. Which is further exacerbated by the shame for hiding this identity. Revealing the authentic self requires confronting the underlying shame.
The act of witnessing reduces shame (Schoenleber & Gratz, 2018) and art therapy enables the client to create a physical representation of their inner world, providing a tangible object that can be witnessed. ‘Bearing witness’ is an essential therapeutic tool in psychotherapy and crucial in healing trauma related to queer identity development and experiences. In my research study, the participants were able to bear witness to each other’s ambivalence regarding their queer identities, which often involved the need to conceal parts of the ‘True Self’ experienced as shameful. They were thus able to “…develop their curiosity about their ‘False Self’ and its protective function through exploring the relationship between the ‘Me’ and ‘Not Me’. In doing so they were able to move closer towards wondering about the authentic ‘Me’” (Naran, 2022). Importantly, an environment that is safe, inclusive, and affirming is key for curiosity and exploration to take place.
I believe that as mental health practitioners it is vital to understand how strongly the ‘False Self’ protects the ‘True Self’ in queer clients. Much like with impasto, the ‘False Self’ is akin to the thick, textured and deliberate layers of paint, built up over time to protect the vulnerable core. By delicately and compassionately engaging with these protective layers, we can guide our clients through their symbolic process of plastering on, scraping away and re-applying coatings, helping them to understand the value and purpose of each layer. This understanding is essential for approaching work with this client demographic with the delicacy and care needed to help them become aware and curious about their protective defences without further compounding the underlying shame.
How is this breaking ground in arts therapies in South Africa?
What I believe that makes this research study significant for arts therapies in South Africa (and globally) is that it addresses a crucial gap in mental health services that are tailored for the queer community. It highlights the impact of the arts therapies to effectively fill this gap by leveraging the importance of the arts within the queer community, making therapy more relatable and effective. The research illuminates how the arts therapies can gently foster self-acceptance, a vital mental health wellbeing outcome that is significant for queer identifying individuals when we consider that this community are at an increased risk for mental health disparities when compared to the general population (Pelton-Sweet & Sherry, 2011). Furthermore, using the arts facilitated a deeper understanding and curiosity of authenticity and the authentic self. This research study not only contributes to the academic and practical field of arts therapies in South Africa, but also serves as an effort in creating and highlighting the inclusive and effective arts therapies interventions for the queer community in South Africa.
How does it advocate for arts therapies in South Africa?
I am aware of how few mental health spaces in South Africa there are for queer people that focus on queer issues, and the minuscule amount of training and teaching available for mental health practitioners to work with this community. Even less so within the arts therapies field in South Africa. Yet, I believe that the arts therapies are in alignment with the queer community. The arts are embedded in this community, which uses colours and symbols as forms of identification, and music, movies, and theatre shows are amalgamated into the culture. It thus makes absolute sense that the arts therapies so beautifully form part of this community’s paint palette. Advocating for the arts therapies in South Africa is crucial because these therapies can provide a unique lifesaving, affirming, and culturally resonant approach to mental health care for queer individuals, filling a significant gap in existing services. By integrating the arts, these therapies can offer a more inclusive and expressive form of healing that aligns with the community’s intrinsic values and modes of expression.
1 Impasto is a painting technique that involves applying layers of paint thickly onto the canvas/surface so that the paint stands out from the surface.
2 Response art in art therapy refers to the creative artwork produced by art therapists or clients as a reaction to the therapeutic process or the content explored during therapy sessions. It serves as a means of expressing emotions, thoughts, and insights that arise during therapy, providing a non-verbal way to reflect on and process therapeutic experiences.
KAMAL NARAN
Kamal is a certified Art Therapist registered with the HPCSA in South Africa. In 2023, they completed their Masters in Art Therapy with distinction at the University of Johannesburg (UJ), proudly standing as a member of the pioneering cohort of South African art therapists. Their academic journey includes earning Honours degrees in Fine Arts from the University of Pretoria and an Honours and Masters degree in Art Therapy from UJ, where they currently serve as an Assistant Lecturer in the Art Therapy and Visual Arts department. They have honed their skills in art therapy working with children, adolescents, and adults, offering individual and group therapy sessions. Their experience ranges from university settings and schools to non-profit organizations and museum environments. They hold a special interest in LGBTQIA+ affirming art therapy, a focus that shaped their final university dissertation and subsequent journal article.
REFERENCES
Naran, K. 2023. Using art therapy to address the protective false self when working with queer identity (pp. 89–110) [Masters thesis]. https://doi.org/10.36615/sajat.v1i1.2576
Pelton-Sweet, L. M., & Sherry, A. 2008. Coming Out Through Art: A Review of Art Therapy With LGBT Clients. Art Therapy, 25(4), 170–176. https://doi.org/10.1080/07421656.2008.10129546
Schoenleber, M., & Gratz, K. L. 2018. Self-Acceptance Group Therapy: A Transdiagnostic, Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for Shame. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 25(1), 75–86. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cbpra.2017.05.002
Winnicott, D. W. 2018. Ego Distortion in Terms of True and False Self (1960). Routledge EBooks, 140–152. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429482410-12
ADDITIONAL READINGS
Stjernswärd, S. 2021. Getting to Know the Inner Self. Exploratory Study of Identity Oriented Psychotrauma Therapy—Experiences and Value From Multiple Perspectives. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.526399